Published dream diary · English · released source text
Removing the Pins from My Mouth
Nathalie Regard
101-nights -sleep and dream study night 068 (2023) · DREAMS section, Night 68; all recalled sections in this source-night entry, before the separate Day-by-Day waking log.
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[No-recall preface omitted.]
[Source recording-status heading omitted.]
I remember a dream, I am in a relative’s house, it may be my grandmother’s house, and my mother is here.
I get mad when I go into the bathroom and see an enormous poop in the toilet. It seems to me that not only do I have to clean my own mess but also someone else’s. That's not fair.
I leave the bathroom to address someone, I do not know exactly who he is and I complain. It cannot be possible that besides cleaning my own shit having to clean others’. Suddenly I start to remember something strange, I know now that next door there's is a room where [person A], my ex-boyfriend is sitting.
Cleaning poop turns into this analogy.
Alert! I am terrified. My mouth is full of a fistful of pins. I am trying to take them out extremely carefully. Moving as smoothly as possible, I bend over so the pins will fall out, because I am afraid of swallowing one and it going to hurt my heart. If that happens, I think I will die. I react with an extreme care and the attention the urgency demands.
It turns out the janitor "by mistake" or "by accident" or better said ineptly, he puts them back inside my mouth. The dream has me start all over. Having barely finished getting the first fistful out, I have to start once more, slowly and very carefully so as not to swallow them.
It is a miracle that hasn’t happened. Luckly my heart is not hurt yet. As I pull the pins out of my tongue, the needles seem like nails, they are so thick.
I am mad at the janitor outraged by his acting and his attitude because instead of
helping me by throwing the needles far away from here, they are in my mouth. I suspect the janitor threw them back into my mouth!!
My body is bent over as if I were vomiting wishing to avoid to hurt my heart. The only hope of getting them out of my mouth is in that position, far from the risk of swallowing them.
The following thing I recall it's a mix of fragments coming from before. When I say that besides cleaning my own shit there is the others’ excrement, the other person seems not to want me to say it out loud, because perhaps they do not want [person A] to hear me, I suppose.
It's nothing I don’t care a thing. The truth of the crap has to come out, it has to be known. I am disgusted. I cannot keep it inside me, it's overwhelming both morally and physically.
Out of the blue, towards the end of the dream, as I'm still removing the pins gradually, taking them slowly out of my
mouth, I notice that it does not hurt anymore. I feel nothing!
Restless I guess that is not normal, but as I get out of this long and overwhelming emotional state, I start to suspect I'm in a dream.
I don't feel pain, then in my consciousness, I start to realize it is a dream. I do not feel physical pain, only moral pain. By then, it is unlikely that I am dead but do not feel pain.
Night 068
Source & context
A published self-diary by Nathalie Regard in 101 nights, co-created with Guillaume Dumas. Released English text; original language/translator not stated. Recalled sections from one source night stay grouped. Statements about people, health and events describe dreams, not verified facts or diagnoses. Not a Synastry community submission.
Nathalie Regard (dreamer, diarist and recorder); Guillaume Dumas (project co-creator). 101-nights -sleep and dream study night 068. Zenodo, 2023. DOI 10.5281/zenodo.7830225. CC BY 4.0. Synastry added navigation metadata, normalized linewraps and visibly bracketed changes; no new dream narrative or translation.
Only the source-night ordinal is used. The metadata publication year is not a dream date; month/day source headings are not promoted to an exact calendar date. No real-world personal location is inferred.
Creator-deposited self-diary. The actual Zenodo record licenses the released text under CC BY 4.0; credit and indicated changes are retained. The named dreamer is the creator, not an anonymous participant. No separate Synastry consent or complete third-party anonymization is claimed.
Source locator and text provenance
DREAMS section, Night 68; all recalled sections in this source-night entry, before the separate Day-by-Day waking log.
The original text and redactions are preserved. The page title is an editorial navigation label.
Private references are visibly bracketed; any omitted no-recall preface or source recording/metadata heading is explicitly bracketed. Paragraph linewraps normalized. Title/themes/scene description are editorial navigation additions; no new narrative or translation.
Released English source wording retained with documented visible privacy substitutions and bracketed source-marker omissions; paragraph linewraps folded. No assertion of original language or translator.
- Account text SHA-256
- 5c6eff7f973493c3091ee3df8f1bf5cc66cb36bc49ae55d22a51066c385ace13
- Source file SHA-256
- 5fd99d305f53e42f990eff6c104adcb3e8ea3026174cc0e22fc52caf08c37cf9
Content notes
- Peril grief or body distress
Synastry source notes
These notes identify the released diary and any editorial redactions. They are separate from the diarist’s words.
Title/themes/scene description are editorial navigation aids, not a psychological interpretation.
Night ordinal only; publication year is not a dream date.
Brackets mark private-reference replacements or source-marker omissions. Person placeholders are local to each account.
The named creator remains credited; names removed from narrative are absent from public change notes.
Content notes describe themes in the released dream account; they do not assert those events occurred.
Connections in the Loom
Titles, theme labels, illustrations and map connections are editorial navigation aids. They are separate from the account’s words and do not establish connections between real people.